Stacey calder


Guest Speaker - Mums the boss Coventry

Today I was a guest speaker at Mums The Boss Coventry. They asked me to discuss 'confidence'. On arrival we were all greeted with a lovely looking birthday cake as it was their 1st birthday. It was made by the ladies from Two Cousins Bakery who also run the group and after sampling a taste I can confirm it was delicious!

So after going round the table and hearing everyone's 60 second story I was introduced. Normally when speaking to a group you'll notice I'm in my heels, it's a confidence thing, but today I didn't and funnily enough it came up in the discussion, some else mentioned it's what they do to. So subconsciously kicking myself for not wearing my heels I introduced myself and gave my story. I told them that 3 years ago I wouldn't have been in the room let alone stood at the front speaking. Many of you will have heard my story of how I had lost my confidence at that time and how I then went on to set up my business, if you haven't you can read my story HERE.

We discussed self belief and the cycle we go round each day, discussing where most people start and where successful people start and the difference it can make on the results, outcomes and your life. I then talked about self talk and what that little voice in your head says when you ask yourself a question. I call that voice my negferret but others call it numerous different things, what do you call yours?

At this point I wanted to tell everyone about the story of two wolves but it was then my technology decided to give up for a while. So I moved on and did the arm exercise getting everyone to stand up in pairs with 1 person holding their arm out. Firstly I got everyoneto think negative thoughts about themselves whilst the other person pushed their arm down, there was hardly any resistance. Then they did the same but thought positive thoughts, the change was amazing. How much power do you feel when your head is filled with positive thoughts?

By this time technology was back up and the story of the 2 Wolves was read out next. We then looked at real fear and made up fear and I pointed out most beliefs are made up of things that have happened in the past or things that have been drip fed into our belief systems.

Next I asked everyone to think of their proudest moment or biggest achievement and we went round the room hearing the achievements of everyone and I confirmed with each of them it happened, it actually happened and each person replied it did or 'yes' it was great to hear everyone sharing their stories and experiences and I think we even had a couple of tears. Once everyone had shared their story I asked them to realise what they had just said. They achieved it, it happened, it was real. I asked them to notice even though it was their biggest achievement there was no jumping up shouting YES! Just a plain and simple yes. Often people wait for a lightbulb moment "yes I believe in myself" etc. They don't realise that a simple quiet 'yes' is normally what happens. 

I also discussed the need to develop yourself as well as your business as many people forget this or think it's not important. I'll admit it took me 18 months to commit to any real self-development and to look into the confidence issue. I hope everyone that was there got at least something from it. Thank you for having me!